{"id":6107,"date":"2015-02-01T20:33:38","date_gmt":"2015-02-02T02:33:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/deansanta.com\/blog\/?p=6107"},"modified":"2015-02-01T21:56:53","modified_gmt":"2015-02-02T03:56:53","slug":"asshats","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/deansanta.com\/blog\/2015\/02\/01\/asshats\/","title":{"rendered":"Ass-hats and Burgers"},"content":{"rendered":"

About a week ago, Lauren, our\u00a0friends Ryan and Mallory, and I went to the new Shake Shack location in River North, Chicago. It was pretty packed, which I think is pretty much par for the course for Shake Shack on a weekend night. This is coming from a Shake Shack Veteran. And by “veteran,” I mean person that’s been to Shake Shack twice, once at the original Madison Square Park location in New York in 2009<\/span><\/a>, and once at the new Washington D.C. location last year. I knew it would be pretty busy, so I told Lauren we should get there for an\u00a0early-ish dinner, around 6 or 6:30.<\/p>\n

We get there, and the line\u00a0for ordering food isn’t too long (i.e. spilling\u00a0outside of the restaurant), so things are looking good. We read the chalkboard menu and decide what to get while waiting in line, slowly inching forward toward the cashier. I decide on the “Shack Stack” — a beef patty hamburger with a mushroom on top — and a root beer.<\/p>\n

We put in our orders, and like I mentioned earlier, the place is packed<\/i>. Lots of people are waiting for tables to open up, and very few people are finishing up their meals and leaving. Ryan and I wait, pagers in hand, closer\u00a0the counter to pick up everyone’s\u00a0orders, while Lauren and Mal go off to stake out an area in the back to\u00a0try to vulture a table from a group that’s done with their meal. Ryan’s pager\u00a0goes off first, and Lauren and Mal are still looking for a table.\u00a0Eventually, mine goes off too. I walk over with my order and everyone is visibly distraught. “What happened?” I ask.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Lauren and Mal had started a line to wait for tables on a platform in the\u00a0back area, up a few stairs, and saw a few tables nearly ripe for the taking. Just as one 2-person table was opening up, an older man, in his 50’s — an\u00a0“ass-hat,” as Ryan dubbed him —\u00a0threw his jacket over the railing<\/i> to lay claim to it. It was\u00a0pretty obvious people were waiting for the table up on the platform. The ass-hat just threw his stuff on there and took the table. So, Lauren and Mal shrugged it off and waited for a 4-person table to open. The ass-hat, sitting alone, noticed a larger, 4-person table behind him with a young couple done with their meal, just chatting. “Do you mind if we switch tables, because you’re just<\/strong>\u00a0sitting there talking<\/em>?” the ass-hat asked them. “Yes, we do<\/i> mind,” the couple retorted back. Stink eyes were exchanged. So the ass-hat just sat there indignantly.<\/p>\n

\"l\"<\/a>
\nShake Shack: An\u00a0Urban Restaurant Battlefield<\/div>\n

Eventually the mind-ful couple left, and the ass-hat moved over to the 4 person table. What the hell.<\/i> Lauren and Mal were pissed.\u00a0With the rage of 10 thousand suns behind her, Lauren walked up to the table and talked to the ass-hat. \u201cWe\u2019ve been waiting a long time in line for that table.\u201d [Lauren points to the line.]<\/i> \u201c\u2026and we have four people in our group and you’re just sitting alone. Can we have this table and you take that 2-person table?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMy partner and I been waiting a long time too,\u201d the ass-hat replied. \u201cYou<\/em> can have this 2-person table.\u201d<\/p>\n

Then Lauren murdered him. Just kidding. But I think that if her evil\/stink eye had laser vision-esque super powers, I\u2019m 100% sure that\u00a0old man would be burnt to a crispy, even char. \u201cYou are being extremely rude<\/b>,\u201d she chastised him. [I wish she had dropped the Cosby bomb on him. \u201c<\/em>You are so rude<\/b>, in fact, that’s how you got your name. Rude<\/b>-e.\u201d<\/em>]<\/span><\/p>\n

So, Lauren let the couple behind us (in line waiting for a table) take the two-person table because it wouldn’t fit our group. The ass-hat’s partner\u00a0came over with their food\u00a0and they sat together at the 4-person table, eating their food like evil, ass-hat villains.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, on top of this ass-hat debacle, a booth opened up in the same area and two children sprinted to the newly opened table just as Mal was walking over to take it. She stared into their souls with a nuclear rage, the kids didn\u2019t budge, and their parents arrived with their food and thought nothing of it. So basically, everyone is rude, and nobody has any decency or respect for others. What ever happened to politeness in public? Is the dining area of Shake Shake like war now?<\/p>\n

At this point I\u2019m walking over with my and Lauren\u2019s food and everyone is pissed off. Lauren brings me up to speed on the situation, I fire off one million mean looks at the ass-hat and his partner, and a table opens up. It\u2019s the table behind the ass-hat, and there\u2019s only 3 seats (a bench and one chair). Being new to this situation, I walk over and tell the ass-hat\u2019s partner that we need to switch our chair with the bench he\u2019s sitting on so that our table can seat all four of us. We switch and all is well, we\u2019ve got our table and can finally enjoy our food.<\/p>\n

Well, needless to say, the four of us spent the whole dinner giving evil glances at all those who wronged us and talking loudly about how everyone is awful. Oh, and my mushroom burger was delicious.<\/p>\n

\"l<\/a>
\n<\/a>
\nBad for you. But pretty tasty.<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

About a week ago, Lauren, our\u00a0friends Ryan and Mallory, and I went to the new Shake Shack location in River North, Chicago. It was pretty packed, which I think is pretty much par for the course for Shake Shack on a weekend night. This is coming from a Shake Shack Veteran. And by “veteran,” I … Continue reading Ass-hats and Burgers<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[19,362],"tags":[363,365],"class_list":["post-6107","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-food","category-journal","tag-rude","tag-shake-shack"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/deansanta.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6107","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/deansanta.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/deansanta.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/deansanta.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/deansanta.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6107"}],"version-history":[{"count":17,"href":"http:\/\/deansanta.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6107\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6156,"href":"http:\/\/deansanta.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6107\/revisions\/6156"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/deansanta.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6107"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/deansanta.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6107"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/deansanta.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6107"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}